If you know me, you probably know that I am changing careers, going from engineering to full time ministry. This process has been in the planning stages for a while. Almost 2 years ago, I talked to my boss about transitioning out of my company. I said then that I would leave in June or July of 2015. I have spent the time researching schools, saving money, and preparing. This past fall, I applied to 5 seminaries, and am currently accepted to 4 of
them. Redeemer Seminary, Mid-America Reformed Seminary, Sangre de Cristo
Seminary, and Edinburgh Theological Seminary have all accepted me to
start this fall. New Geneva Theological Seminary just emailed me that they will let me know there decision in a week or two.
In preparation, I spent some time last year studying Hebrew. This past fall I came under care of the Ohio Vally Presbytery. Earlier this month, I went to a conference put on by a local Orthodox Presbyterian Church to get a preview of church history. Starting this past weekend, I have a biblical counseling training course that will meet once a month for four months (maybe 5). Along with these things, I continue to work 8 hours a day for my company, work with the deacons at church, help as I can with the Worship Team, and will co-lead a team from my church that will teach English at a summer camp in the Czech Republic.
I hope this doesn't sound like boasting ("hey look at all the programs and research and steps I'm taking!"). It hasn't been easy, and isn't easy to do all these things. One of the hard things about being so active is dealing with the pride that can come with it. I give here, I serve there, I study this and that. My motives may start out pure or good, wanting to live for the glory of God and helping other people. Too often, though, as time goes on, as trials arise, as the schedule gets hectic, I rely on myself. I see all that needs to be done, and I either worry about it all or get angry with others. In the stress, I blindly see that others are not helping as much as I am. At best, I become Martha from Luke 10. One of the hidden blessings in all this has been the realization of my sin in this and other areas. This seems to most notably show up in the counseling training books I have been reading. As they teach about how to work with broken hurting people, they show my brokenness and hurt. They call attention to the heart, the motives and desires. God is using them, not to leave me ashamed or cast me down (though shame is an appropriate reaction to sin as long as repentance is born out), but to show me that He has included me in the blessings He gives.I have seen more and more of the reality of my sin separating me from God and His great love drawing me away from sin to His perfection.
On a bit of a non-sequitur, but one that is tangential to the idea above, last fall my Aunt and Uncle visited. They have a beautiful testimony of God's grace and mercy. My uncle was diagnosed with leukemia last winter and had a very rough treatment. God's granting healing and remission is amazing. Beyond this miracle in his life, I have seen both my aunt and uncle live by faith in their professions, putting the gospel first and always ready to share the good news. While they were here, I shared with them my sense of call the ministry. About a month ago, I received a package in the mail from them, completely unexpected. It contained a note from my uncle along with a copy of The Message Bible. He has used this translation (or paraphrase...) personally and as a outreach tool. He gave a copy to me with the advice "Read through the entire Bible right before starting seminary." I have started to do this. Last fall, he also talked about his Bible study method and that he has read through Proverbs once a month for the past (I can't remember but it was a lot) years. So in addition to starting in Genesis with the hope of making it to Revelation by this fall, I decided to start reading a chapter in Proverbs every day. A few weeks ago I read a Proverb: "God can't stand pious poses, but he delights in genuine prayers." This struck me as I thought about my busy life, desire to be a pastor, and the self-righteousness I am recognizing and repenting of. As I read this, I became very grateful to God for this word and revelation. He shows us that doing all the right things doesn't mean a thing if your heart is not desiring Him, if your prayers aren't genuine, God focused.
So the challenge is to look at your heart, look at your desires. What are you living for? Why are you doing what your doing? I may read my bible every day, pray, fast and have accountability with others, but is this so that society will see me as holy (He's a righteous dude) or is this humble relying on my King, seeking His face, living for His glory, sacrificing to deepen my relationship with him? God makes us aware of our sin, he points out when we are desiring wrongly and are not glorifying Him.
As I think through these heart issues, leave my job, go to the CZ, start seminary, and all the other unforeseen life events of the year, I must rely ever more on God's word and my time praying and studying the Bible. I would like to dedicate the last Friday of each month this year to prayer and fasting for these things.
Below are some links to the schools I am looking at as well as some info on the CZ trip.
Redeemer
Mid America
Sangre De Cristo
Edinburgh Theological Seminary
Czech Team!
In preparation, I spent some time last year studying Hebrew. This past fall I came under care of the Ohio Vally Presbytery. Earlier this month, I went to a conference put on by a local Orthodox Presbyterian Church to get a preview of church history. Starting this past weekend, I have a biblical counseling training course that will meet once a month for four months (maybe 5). Along with these things, I continue to work 8 hours a day for my company, work with the deacons at church, help as I can with the Worship Team, and will co-lead a team from my church that will teach English at a summer camp in the Czech Republic.
I hope this doesn't sound like boasting ("hey look at all the programs and research and steps I'm taking!"). It hasn't been easy, and isn't easy to do all these things. One of the hard things about being so active is dealing with the pride that can come with it. I give here, I serve there, I study this and that. My motives may start out pure or good, wanting to live for the glory of God and helping other people. Too often, though, as time goes on, as trials arise, as the schedule gets hectic, I rely on myself. I see all that needs to be done, and I either worry about it all or get angry with others. In the stress, I blindly see that others are not helping as much as I am. At best, I become Martha from Luke 10. One of the hidden blessings in all this has been the realization of my sin in this and other areas. This seems to most notably show up in the counseling training books I have been reading. As they teach about how to work with broken hurting people, they show my brokenness and hurt. They call attention to the heart, the motives and desires. God is using them, not to leave me ashamed or cast me down (though shame is an appropriate reaction to sin as long as repentance is born out), but to show me that He has included me in the blessings He gives.I have seen more and more of the reality of my sin separating me from God and His great love drawing me away from sin to His perfection.
On a bit of a non-sequitur, but one that is tangential to the idea above, last fall my Aunt and Uncle visited. They have a beautiful testimony of God's grace and mercy. My uncle was diagnosed with leukemia last winter and had a very rough treatment. God's granting healing and remission is amazing. Beyond this miracle in his life, I have seen both my aunt and uncle live by faith in their professions, putting the gospel first and always ready to share the good news. While they were here, I shared with them my sense of call the ministry. About a month ago, I received a package in the mail from them, completely unexpected. It contained a note from my uncle along with a copy of The Message Bible. He has used this translation (or paraphrase...) personally and as a outreach tool. He gave a copy to me with the advice "Read through the entire Bible right before starting seminary." I have started to do this. Last fall, he also talked about his Bible study method and that he has read through Proverbs once a month for the past (I can't remember but it was a lot) years. So in addition to starting in Genesis with the hope of making it to Revelation by this fall, I decided to start reading a chapter in Proverbs every day. A few weeks ago I read a Proverb: "God can't stand pious poses, but he delights in genuine prayers." This struck me as I thought about my busy life, desire to be a pastor, and the self-righteousness I am recognizing and repenting of. As I read this, I became very grateful to God for this word and revelation. He shows us that doing all the right things doesn't mean a thing if your heart is not desiring Him, if your prayers aren't genuine, God focused.
So the challenge is to look at your heart, look at your desires. What are you living for? Why are you doing what your doing? I may read my bible every day, pray, fast and have accountability with others, but is this so that society will see me as holy (He's a righteous dude) or is this humble relying on my King, seeking His face, living for His glory, sacrificing to deepen my relationship with him? God makes us aware of our sin, he points out when we are desiring wrongly and are not glorifying Him.
As I think through these heart issues, leave my job, go to the CZ, start seminary, and all the other unforeseen life events of the year, I must rely ever more on God's word and my time praying and studying the Bible. I would like to dedicate the last Friday of each month this year to prayer and fasting for these things.
Below are some links to the schools I am looking at as well as some info on the CZ trip.
Redeemer
Mid America
Sangre De Cristo
Edinburgh Theological Seminary
Czech Team!
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ReplyDeleteI'm so thankful for your heart! Your desire to serve God is beautiful.
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